10月30日 : without me.

О6. for a split second i relive [it]. my heart begins to race, and a tidal wave of pain comes crashing back. an incredible, inconsolable sadness overcomes me. the sadness is so great it suffocates me. i can barely breathe as a deluge of tears stream down my face.

О6. my hands become hot and red and tremble with fear. i try to control the shaking by clenching my fists, but i cannot make it stop. i am alone. no one can help me. no one understands, and i am plagued by the senselessness of it all. just for a split second, i am home again.